By Daily Tar Heel Staff Writer

I need a summer internship or want to move up the ranks at the DTH. In order to do this, I need to write a “long story.”

So, I write a nice little intro here, it really does not even say that much, I am just writing an intro to really extend out this article, which if reported normally, would be way shorter, but I need a long one so I can get apply for things this summer.

Now, I am going to transition it here. Have a quote.

“PLEASE, I WANT TO BE A JOURNALIST!”

DESTINY

Then I start to divide up the sections and it gives this impression I am telling some long narrative. However, I am just reporting a very normal story.

Source 2, “I think that this writer clearly deserves to get an internship, look at this quote that probably was taken out of context, but still works for this story.”

Source 3, “It is okay that they are reporting out of context here, because they are just kids!”

“QUOTE FROM THE ARTICLE”

Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.Bullshit.

GIVE ME A FUCKING INTERNSHIP THIS SUMMER

Ending. Resolution.

Snappy quote to wrap it up.