Jewish A Capella Group Cuts Uncircumcised Member

Chapel Hill, NC– This morning, Sababa, UNC Chapel Hill’s Jewish a capella group, announced that it cut an uncircumcised member over the weekend.

Members of Sababa reportedly discovered the uncircumcised member in the locker room of North Carolina Hillel following a Friday evening performance. Member Aaron Burger walked out of the shower with his member exposed, unaware that other members were present in the changing area. After a brief moment of “stunned silence,” Sababa members detained the uncircumcised member while a rabbi was called to the scene.

As soon as Rabbi Tal Kirschdorf arrived, Sababa convened an emergency meeting in the Hillel temple. After a brief deliberation, the uncircumcised member was swiftly and permanently cut.

Members of the group described the uncircumcised member’s exposure as “upsetting” and reiterated that circumcision is critical to membership in a Jewish organization.

“As a member of the Jewish faith, I think it’s of upmost importance that every member in our group be circumcised,” said Sababa member Nathan Kravitz. “Mine certainly is.”

Sababa president Isaac Hendel defended the members’ handling of the uncircumcised member.

“Obviously, none of us wanted to have to cut a member like that,” said Hendel, “but considering that this is an organization that upholds the tenets of Jewish faith, we had no other option. Situations like this can sting, but ultimately they’re least painful when you grab them head-on and get things over with.”

“At this point, every member in our group is circumcised,” Hendel continued. “I can promise you that.”

Hanging his head in shame, the cut member declined comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s