Fitzgerald’s is being boycotted and He’s Not Here is not no longer allowing those under 21 into the bar. What’s your take?

“Okay, so no one is talking about the athletic scandal? We are in the clear, right? Everything is okay again now, and we can just talk about bars and stuff. Back to just good ol’ college stuff. Like bars.”

Carol Folt, Chancellor

“I think that Willingham’s data, as the independent reports have shown, is fundamentally flaw-wait what? That’s what we are talking about now? All we had to do was disprove that one researcher? Well yes, I think the Blue Cup needs to stay for 21 and up, and when there is a rule you need to enforce it.”

Roy Williams, Basketball Head Coach

“Fulks, meen lady wrung, afchletes cans reed gud… Huh? Yuh, me tink alegazacions four FutzGorald’s musht b taeken surieouslee.”

Jim Dean, Executive Vice Chancellor and Provost