Election 2014: Traffic Cone, The Rock

This week, The Minor is profiling the candidates running for student body president. Today, we get to know Traffic Cone.


CHAPEL HILL, NC – Traffic Cone always knew he would end up at UNC.

“I grew up with it,” he said. “My family and I would come to every UNC basketball game to help direct traffic. Even then, I knew that I wanted to call this place home.”

A stellar high school student, Traffic Cone burst onto campus with energy and enthusiasm after being admitted to UNC. Early in his first year, he took a leading role in Safewalk, establishing a program called Students Pointing Out Things That Evoke Danger (SPOTTED) to raise awareness about slippery surfaces and potholes on campus.

“I started [SPOTTED] because that’s something I really believe in – pointing out a problem without really posing a solution,” he said. “That’s exactly what UNC needs in a student body president.”

Throughout his childhood, Traffic Cone was called a pushover for his diminutive stature and pointy shape, but he quickly learned to make up for this with bright colors and a winning personality.

“I used to be worried that I stand out – it made me the object of ridicule. However, now I use it to my advantage in order to keep my community safe.”

Last year, Traffic Cone built a reputation for standing guard around missing bricks outside Ram’s Head. An easy face to recognize, he managed to collect the signatures he needed to get on the student body president ballot in a record-setting three hours. He took this as a strong endorsement for his platform of Safety, Awareness, and Pointing Things Out, and has been campaigning on those points ever since.

“I think students are really concerned with the same issues that I am. And as student body president, I will work hard to bring attention to these issues.”

When asked about what he would do to solve these issues, Traffic Cone countered that “more than anything, it’s about visibility rather than action.”

Traffic Cone chose not to respond to questions about his alleged nightly habit of getting inserted into and stacked on top of other cones, a rumor that is sure to persist come election day.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s