“Bike to Uganda” Will Become “Back-Pat to Uganda” in 2014

CHAPEL HILL, NC — In a cost-cutting effort, the executive board of UNC’s Building Tomorrow will convert its successful “Bike to Uganda” fundraiser to “Back-Pat to Uganda” in 2014.

Under the new plan, participants will donate $5 to stand in the Pit and pat themselves on the back for 30 minutes.

Asked to explain the reasoning behind the change, Charles Walker, campus chairman of Building Tomorrow, said that, while he regretted ending the current program, “the primary goal of Bike to Uganda has always been to raise money for our charity, and spending any of that money on stationary bikes doesn’t make sense when there are cheaper ways to generate the self-satisfaction that comes with riding them.”

“It’s a sad fact that fundraisers are fueled by people’s need to show off their generosity,” Walker continued, “and there’s no more direct way to fill that need than by letting people pat themselves on the back in public.”

Carter Michaels, who is participating in Bike to Uganda this year, expressed optimism about the change.

“I like Bike to Uganda because it lets me advertise what a charitable person I am without seeming braggy,” he said. “Under the new program, nobody can call me out for patting myself on the back because I’ll be patting myself on the back to Uganda.”

“Back-Pat to Uganda” organizers say they are looking for success similar to that of Duke’s “Circle Jerk to Uganda.”

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