CHAPEL HILL, NC—This Sunday, UNC professor Dr. Aaron Bozkurt dropped his class, HIST 235: Medieval Mysteries, describing the course as “lame as hell” and “not a good use of his time.”
The class, which investigates European history at the beginning of the Middle Ages, meets at 9 a.m. three days a week.
“When I wrote the blurb for Medieval Mysteries, I used a lot of adjectives and sexual innuendo to make Christian Monasticism sound exciting,” said Dr. Bozkurt. “But as soon as I walked into that classroom, I knew I had fooled myself.”
Dr. Bozkurt has worked in UNC’s History Department for 17 years, but says he has not experienced a class “so weak” since his first year teaching at Carolina. He says he took an intense disliking to the students in Medieval Mysteries on its first day, mentioning a number of fidgety freshmen and three students from Fayetteville.
“I swear one of those kids still had braces on his teeth,” Dr. Bozkurt said. “If you think I’m going to get up at 7 a.m. just to walk into that mess, you’ve got another thing coming.
“If I could get away with completely checking out every time class met, maybe I wouldn’t drop the course,” he added. “But in a seminar so small, [the students] would know I’m not into it and it would just end up being awkward.”
Since dropping his class, Dr. Bozkurt has been bragging to friends and colleague about his new free time, most recently to UNC Psychology professor Dr. Jennifer Li.
“When I asked Dr. Bozkurt why he was late to class, he told me he had ‘dropped that shit’ and waved a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich in my face,” said Dr. Li. “He said he was planning to hang out until his next class at 2:00 p.m. and then asked if I wanted to go with him to see the Google Earth Display in Davis Library.”
With the semester underway, Dr. Bozkurt has no plans to communicate with his former students about his reasons for dropping the class, hoping instead to just avoid eye contact with them if he ever sees them on campus again.
The Minor 
Lazy professor and need to be written up by his chair and dean for his actions.
It’s satire.
Sounds more like a student than a professor. Frankly, he sounds exactly like a student.
I think that’s the point.
If people can’t tell it’s facetious is that a compliment to the writing or a criticism of it?
I believe that is the point Bernadette.
I love the comments here calling the prof lazy and student-like. Hmmm, could it possibly be that’s because this is satire and the author is trying to make a (gasp!) point?
Maybe if folks paid attention in their “useless humanities classes” they could pick up on that. Sadly, that’s unlikely.
No! No way! Don’t you dare encourage divergent thinking!
I probably should not have enjoyed “Todd’s” comment so much. I’m not mean spirited but his inability to get satire was simultaneously hilarious and sad.