A List You’ll Totally Click On: 8 Tips for SURVIVING Finals Week

We all know that finals week can be ROUGH! But how do you make it through?! We’ve got some tips.

1. Be prepared

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If you know you’re going to be in an area where finals are common, take some basic precautions. Clean up thoroughly after meals and suspend your food from a high tree branch overnight to avoid attracting finals to your location. Make lots of noise while you travel and stay away from the places where finals are most likely to live, such as caves and hollow logs. The best way to survive finals is to never come face-to-face with them in the first place.

2. Don’t make any sudden movements

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If finals have spotted you, remain calm. Speak to finals in a low, steady voice as you slowly raise your arms above your head. You want to appear as large as you can to finals. Remember that finals are likely just as afraid of you as you are of them.

3. Slowly back away

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Remain facing finals, and slowly back in the direction that you came from. Don’t cross the path of finals, and DO NOT come between finals and a cub. Remember that this is finals’ territory, not yours. 

4. Don’t run

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Aside from getting out your camera or trying to offer finals a snack, the worst thing you could do is run. Finals can run faster than humans and they enjoy chasing prey.

5. Stay on the ground

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Resist the instinct to scamper up a tree. Not all types of finals can climb trees, but those that can are excellent at it. In a tree, you’ll be trapped.

6. Play dead

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If finals charge you, fall into the fetal position and play dead. Even if this does not completely deter finals, at least it will protect your vital organs. Hopefully, finals will sniff you, growl, and leave. Don’t make any noise even if finals paw at you, and don’t run until you’re sure finals have left. 

7. Take your shot

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If you do have a gun, a finals charge may be the time to use it. Make sure you get off a clean shot. A non-lethal wound will only make finals angrier. It takes more than one shot to fell most finals. Shooting should be your last resort–wrongful killing of finals in the United States comes with penalties of up to $20,000.

8. Fight for all you’re worth

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If you can’t deter finals’ charge, you’re in for the fight of your life. Try to stun finals by hitting the nose or jabbing the eyes. Kick, scream, punch, and cling to life however you can. You can lose a limb to finals and still survive if help is near enough. 

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