CHAPEL HILL, NC — Hurriedly preparing for his 2:00 pm political science class, Trevor Shipman, sophomore public policy major, skimmed the life’s work of 97 year-old Carl Vague, Professor Emeritus of Political Science at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor.

Approximately an hour before his afternoon class began, Shipman logged into Sakai and pulled up a PDF of Vague’s How We Vote: A Global Perspective on the Ethics and Politics of Democratic Institutions. Eating a Chick-fil-a sandwich, he spent the next 40 minutes “kind of skipping around and reading the conclusions of a few sections” in the book that embodies ideas Vague dedicated the most productive years of his life to advancing.

“I just tried to highlight the stuff that, I don’t know, seemed important,” said Shipman of his approach to studying the work that was birthed from innumerable late nights in a library, which Vague spent thinking endlessly about the minutiae of voting rights, isolated from his family and few friends.

Shipman was assigned to read the 30-page introduction of the life’s work, which he described as “kind of a lot.”

Facebook chatting with a classmate as he skimmed, Shipman described his reading as, “sort of boring,” and, “hopefully not really anything that we could be quizzed on.” He advised the friend, “to just glance through” the preface of what Vague considers the most significant thing that he did with his time on earth, the most meaningful fruit of his conscious mind, and the greatest hope that his toil and sacrifice led to a small betterment of the human condition.

In class, Shipman called the work “pretty interesting.”

Shipman is expected to skim, browse, and glance over 250 lives’ works by the time of his graduation.

As election season heats up, The Minor will have all the coverage as it breaks. Our Senior Intrepid Political Reporters,  Carly Burns and Bobbi Wood, are on the pulse of the story, with constant news updates on the politics shaping our campus.

Bobbi Wood and Carly Burns | The Minor

A few surprises this year, but not many, as student body president hopefuls are in the heat of gathering signatures. Most of us have known since Nikita’s sophomore year surge to the student government exec. board that’d she’d be the big hitter in this race. Emilio, the nominee from the Campus Y, has a strong base, but this race will test his ability to reach out across campus. Andrew Powell, who the wire had bowing out supporting Nikita earlier this semester, is right in the thick of things. Some wondered whether he had the chops, or would just slither away to some education nonprofit. Other contenders have a chance, but need to gain ground after starting slow by not planning every social interaction around running for SBP from the moment they entered Carolina. Here’s the need-to-know information about all the candidates.

Nikita Shamdasani

Strengths: Experienced in student government, Morehead-Cain scholar, Illuminati

Weaknesses: Many will write her off as a classic three B’er: bland, boring and bureaucratic

Key Platform Issue: With a partially crowdsourced platform, Nikita is already showing she understands a crucial facet of the SBP’s position: letting other people do all the work

Nickname: “The Scorpion”

Andrew Powell

Strengths: Experienced in student government, Morehead-Cain scholar, has catchiest theme song

Weaknesses: Some worry that Powell’s Catholicism could influence him to lead with the humility and kindness of Pope Francis

Key Platform Issue: Education reform fetish

Nickname: “Will Lindsey”

Blind Lemon Jefferson

Strengths: Father of the Texas Blues, known for his high soulful voice and unique guitar playing

Weaknesses: Got two white horses followin’ him, down to the river, lord

Key Platform Issue: Got a mad dog sergeant, honey, and he won’t knock off

Nickname: “Lightnin’ Hopkins Sr.”

Emilio Vicente

Strengths: Social justice

Weaknesses: Legal justice

Key Platform Issue: Amending Article V Section 4 of the Student Government Bylaws to require 15%, rather than 10%, of the Student Body to call for a ballot on any act of Student Congress through ballot measures

Nickname: “E-Trade Baby”

John Kerry

Strengths: Experience in legislative and executive branches of federal government, knowledge of international conflicts

Weaknesses: Tough loss in 2004 presidential election, has flip-flopped on issues in the past

Key Platform Issue: Dining fees

Nickname: “Sweetwater”

Winston Howes

Strengths: ConnectCarolina 2.0

Weaknesses: ConnectCarolina 2.0

Key Platform Issue: ConnectCarolina 2.0

Nickname: ConnectCarolina 2.0

Traffic Cone

Strengths: High visibility on campus

Weaknesses: Known to be a pushover when nudged

Key Platform Issue: Safety

Nickname: “Ol’ Kinderhook”

Manoj Mirchandani

Strengths: Getting to hear his name mentioned in election coverage

Weaknesses: Loves too fully, too deep

Key Platform Issue: Endorsing Nikita or Andrew next week

Nickname: “Big Schwasty”

Megan’s Profile Picture

Strengths: MEYOWWWWWW, girl GET it

Weaknesses: Ew, i’m lookin rough

Key Platform Issue: Faves, ow ow, i luv u so much

Nickname: “****#1flybitch****”

Where Do You Want to Go Eat? by James Asterdon

Where should we go to eat today?

We could go anywhere, I don’t really care. I don’t want to decide. How about you pick?

It’s really up to you. I’d be okay with almost anything. I just don’t want to have to pick where we’re going to go. You pick. I’d really be okay with anything.

Like anything: Indian, Thai, American. We could go anywhere. We can go to Franklin or drive farther away, I don’t have that much work tonight.

We can go to Lenoir even. I don’t even have a meal plan but I’d pay for it. I don’t care. How about you just decide where we are going to go. I really don’t want to decide. You decide.

No, You Pick Where to Eat by Rebecca Tuck

No, babe, you pick where to eat. I don’t know where I want to eat. Can’t you just decide? I could literally go anywhere.

I’d be okay with going to Carborro or even driving to Durham, I’m wide open for lunch. I can do whatever. Let’s go where you want to go.

We always go where I want to go. I care about you, and I want to go where you want to go. You pick. I really don’t care. You know I don’t care, so you just pick.

Like I said, I could go anywhere. Literally. Just pick.

Just Pick by James Asterdon

Seriously, just pick. I don’t care, like I said I really don’t care. Can you just pick? I’m getting hungry. C’mon. Pick a place, we will go there, and we will eat. It is not a big deal.

No, Just Pick James, I Feel Like This is About Something Else by Rebecca Tuck

James, just pick. I don’t want to decide. Why won’t you just decide where we are going to eat?

What is this really about? If you are having trouble communicating with me that is something we have to deal with.

Just pick a restaurant so we can talk about these issues when we get there.

CHAPEL HILL, NC – In keeping with its open, progressive values, UNC-CH’s chapter of the Lambda Chi Alpha fraternity extended membership bids to both young white men and a young black man late yesterday evening.

“We are a fraternity that’s open to all kinds of people,” said Lambda Chi rush chairman Johnson Mathers, who, this time, was open to nine white guys and one black guy.

The black guy, sophomore business major Clay Bradley, reportedly went to Myers Park High School and plays intramural soccer.

Sources report that, in bid discussions earlier yesterday, the brothers of Lambda Chi engaged in the fair, enlightened deliberation they so often exercise when selecting the countless white guys and single black guy they want to call their brothers.

Amid the sea of white Lambda Chi brothers present for the discussions was black guy Corey Timbor, who is expected to graduate this May.

Sources added that, come to think of it, Lambda Chi has a couple of Asian guys, too.

Around campus, many lauded the fraternity’s open-mindedness.

“It’s good to see that, like UNC, the brothers of Lambda Chi are committed to diversity,” said Stephen M. Farmer, Vice Provost for Enrollment and Undergraduate Admissions, who, last year, welcomed 1,054 white guys and 98 black guys to UNC’s 2017 class.

CHAPEL HILL, NC—Saying that she felt “blessed and excited” for the opportunity, UNC freshman Kristin Simmons recently accepted a missionary position offered to her by Gary Brentwood, youth director of the Campus Christians’ Cooperative.

“It’s wonderful to be working under Gary,” said Simmons nervously. “I know that he offered me this position because he wants to spread God’s love.”

Simmons has attended Campus Christians’ Cooperative meetings regularly since last semester.

“I’ve never been in a position like this before, and I know it will take some getting used to,” she said. “The work is intense, and at times, it can even be a little bit tedious. It’s going to be worth it though. Gary says he has faith in me.”

Simmons has attended church all her life, but upon coming to college, she reportedly found herself confronted by feelings of confusion and directionlessness regarding her faith and her life. In that unlikely time, the thirty-one year-old Brentwood saw his opportunity to make a difference.

Casting a discerning eye over the young, trusting members of his youth group, the father of two said that he began imagining Simmons in a missionary position soon after she began attending his twice-weekly Bible studies last fall. However it was only after a long, serious conversation that the two had at over dinner at a local Chili’s franchise after a recent prayer session, when Simmons opened up to her mentor about various doubts and insecurities, that Brentwood offered her the missionary position. Simmons anxiously accepted that night.

The position has since taken Simmons to hot, unfamiliar climes for extended periods, requiring her, she said, to extend herself in ways she hadn’t before in reaching out to underserved regions.

“It was a little bit painful at first, and I know a lot of my friends didn’t get it,” she said, “but Gary told me to pray about it, and that’s eased my heart over time. Gary is better at [preying] than anyone I’ve ever met.”

“To be honest, this position is still a little bit overwhelming to me at times,” she said, “and I know it’s not exactly the kind of thing that my parents would be crazy about, but it’s what Gary says God is calling me to do right now. I still feel like I don’t always know what to do, but I’m blessed to have Gary to guide me.”

Simmons said that, at this point, her youth group leader has even suggested that she might be “called to serve” in other positions in the near future. “I hope this is the start of a long, beautiful walk of faith,” she said.

“With God,” she added.

Though Brentwood described his selection process for the missionary position as “casual,” he said that he gave careful consideration to several other members of the Campus Christians’ Cooperative before ultimately offering the position to Simmons.

“No question, Kristin’s acceptance of this position was rooted in her faith,” he said. “People like me are blessed to know such trusting souls.”

Brentwood added that, following the success he’s had with Simmons, he has not ruled out offering similar positions to other youth group members in the near future.

Today, UNC suspended the research of Mary Willingham, a reading specialist and former athletic tutor. Earlier in the week, Willingham contacted a CNN reporter with data showing low literacy rates among athletes on the UNC football and basketball teams. Administrators say that Willingham has violated Institutional Research Board policies by divulging the names of students involved in her research, which she was prompted to do by Jim Dean, vice chancellor and provost, after her contact with CNN. The administration has disputed Willingham’s findings, citing much higher student-athlete literacy rates over the period of her research. What’s your take?

“I’m excited to follow the discussion in The Daily Tar Heel’s comment section, where I know this complicated issue will be dealt with sensitively and rationally.”

Martha Dowell, ’16, History

“This situation is not as bad as it is being described. The fact is that from 2003 to 2012, only 34 UNC student-athletes failed a basic literacy test entering college. That’s not so bad.”

Carol Folt, Chancellor

“I hope my research into literacy rates on the club handball team doesn’t get this political.”

Len Schrader-Platt, Master’s Candidate, Education

by Executive Vice Chancellor and Provost Jim Dean

Fulks, I knew mny of u, lke my, r upset bi nuws that UNC studont-athfletes cn’t reed good. Their iz a meen book lady, Mary Willengheam, who saes she haz a data showeng that menee UNC steaunant atfleates cn’t reed good. Data meen lot of beg words, nd nuhmburs to. But unitil lady cnn teech me 2 reed theez data, eym nt taking her alegazacions veree sereiously. Niether shood u.

Me juic went to sey, the alegazacions bi meen lady r steuped. Meen book lady doo not knw bout fotbol nd  baascketbal sports. She lady! Guy fulk, lke me, knw fotbol n we guod at fotbol. Mi not reed data, so ’till mi can reed mi not have aneething mor to say on the matar.

Unc sport good. Meen lady bad. unc sport run fst, unc sport win! What meen lady du? Reed big book? Hmph. She sez everybodee need too reed big book tew. Me no reed book! Me Dean! Ansd atfletes certainley not need reed big book. They need run, jmp, win!!

Peeple lke unc sport! Mi lke unc sport! Peeple buy many tiket 4 unc! $$$$! Mi tink meen lady talk abaut data, cause meen lady reed n tink she spcial. But shee nit spcial. UNC sport spcial! Tey no reed bg book, n tey win!

Data? Meen lady got frum book, steupid book! Data no take.