CHAPEL HILL, NC–Gazing down on Chapel Hill’s campus, the sun casting shadows and light over the bricks, Quasimodo swings from the architecture of the Morehead Bell Tower, his deformed back unable to prevent his gleeful movement.

“This will be the semester,” he thought to himself, “I’m going to finally win her heart!”

Running his hands across the name, Governor John Motley Morehead, inscribed into the large bells to which he has dedicated his life to ringing, he could feel the new opportunities to find love with Esmeralda Boswell, sophomore Chemistry major, blossoming.

“She is a gypsy, I am a hunchback. We are misfits, outcasts, but cast out together!” Quasimodo emoted, beginning to launch into song.

Boswell, an active member of the Romani Coalition of Students and cocek dance group, has, according to sources close to her, remained ignorant of Quasimodo’s existence.

Claude Frollo, who oversees the bell tower’s operations on behalf of the university, said that no one should have heard of Quasimodo.

“He is a simple ugly monster!” screamed Frollo. “Not a man, not even human! He must stay up in his place, never to be seen.

“He shall continue ringing the bell each hour and sometimes playing a song that people might half recognize on random occasions,” he added.

Quasimodo, who has attempted before to win Esmeralda’s heart, still has begun the semester with joy, thinking that this may finally be the year in which it is possible.

“I can love! Love! Love!” he yelled, his arms pulling as the bells rung out across campus.

It has become a tradition for seniors to climb the bell tower at the end of each semester to console Quasimodo after another year of not convincing Esmeralda to love him.