Letters to The Minor

letters to the minor

Each week we receive an array of letters, here are a few.

Dear The Minor,

My grandfather was a miner and I hated him. Therefore, I cannot support any mine-based activities. Except land mines, for obvious reasons.

Sincerely,

Thom Tillis

Raleigh, NC

 

Dear The Minor,

I was wondering if you had any advice for getting scuff marks out of linoleum floors. I have two boys, five and ten, and they’re always running through the kitchen, leaving unsightly marks on my foor. I’ve tried almost everything and nothing seems to work. There has to be a better way! If you know a way to get these marks out without serious scrubbing, my floors, and my hands, will thank you.

From,

Ann Smith

Tallahassee, FL

 

Dear The Minor,

As Interim Director of the Oral Biology Ph.D. Program at UNC, I am writing to express my extreme displeasure at your Twitter stunt involving our program’s account earlier this month.

As if I have to remind you, you tagged the UNC Oral Biology Twitter handle in a series of profane and aggressive tweets, all couched as if you, The Minor, were a binge drinking young woman raging at a romantic rival, which you cast as our program.

Our Twitter account is, essentially, a professional tool that we operate on behalf of our students—it is a means for us to present their research and accomplishments to a network of people in the healthcare and biomedical research professions, people whose judgment matters most when it comes to our students getting jobs and post-doctoral fellowships. They did not want to see your little “jokes.”

I cannot help but think that the only reason you even followed our program’s account in the first place had something to do with your juvenile amusement at the word “oral.”

You certainly have some growing up to do.

Regards,

Ceib Phillips, M.P.H., Ph.D.

Interim Director, Oral Biology Program

 

Dear The Minor,

Pee Pee Poo Poo. Poopy Pee Pants. Pee Pee Pee Poop. Pee Party Poopy Pants.

Sincerely,

Sir Poopity Pants Fart

Poopyville, VA

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