CHAPEL HILL, NC—Speaking to reporters in his office, Ryan Trefler, the director of the Office of Fraternity & Sorority Life (OFSL), announced today his office’s clearest implication that hazing is still allowed among Greek organizations at UNC-Chapel Hill.

“It’s important that we not stop dancing around this issue,” said Trefler. “Simply put, we are announcing today that, like, maybe hazing isn’t that bad, and—well, I don’t know—if you decided to haze maybe we just wouldn’t find out. So just don’t let us find out.”

Sources close to OFSL said the announcement has been coming for weeks.

Many suspected the announcement after the end of last semester’s rush, when Trefler brought all IFC presidents into his office for a discussion about pledging where he said he would set the record on hazing straightish. Before opening the meeting to questions, he told the fraternity presidents that each time he looked out the window, “that doesn’t mean anything, but it means whatever you want it to mean, got it?”

Members of the OFSL emphasized, however, that the announcement does not amount to their  explicit approval of hazing.

“Do you remember when your R.A. freshmen year discussed drinking on campus?” asked Trip Felgue, director of media relations for the OFSL. “Pretty much, it’s just like that.”

Felgue, who has worked with the office for two years, stated that the OFSL will continue to uphold the values of Greek life on campus, “so take that to mean what you will.

“There are important traditions that define us as members of the Greek system at UNC-Chapel Hill,” he said. “And as long as you don’t bring in a video tape of you hazing, we are pretty much down to not question any of them.”

IFC President Chase Yuzen said the clear implication of the OFSL has long been needed.

“Nothing has helped me lead people more than not being treated like one for eight weeks,” said Yuzen of his own experience with hazing. “I’m glad someone is finally speaking the truth.”